India in Retrospect

It has taken some time to assimilate all that I experienced this past winter in India. In many ways it was my loss of innocence, of romanticizing India. In my first trips to India I became aware that India contained both the best and the worst of everything, and I chose to focus on the best--the glass half full syndrome.

I would return home from a trip to India with renewed vigour to fund raise for orphanages as I experienced so much pleasure in giving. On my previous trip I was made aware by some seasoned Canadian volunteers that all was not as it seemed. Most of the children were not orphans, but were supposedly from destitute families. I was there at Xmas when 90% of the children went “home” for the holidays and returned wearing much more beautiful clothing than I had brought for them. I became aware that a large percentage of the children were from the same village that the orphanage director was from, and that for many of them they were simply attending a free boarding school of sorts and that the locals did not refer to the facility as an orphanage but as a “hostel”.

I did not visit that particular orphanage on this visit but spent 3 weeks, including Christmas, with a local young man who had been adopted from a Canadian run orphanage at the age of 6, and was returning to discover his roots. He had done intensive fund-raising before he left Canada and brought a donation of about $10,000 with him.

His intention was to spend a year as a volunteer at the orphanage.

I was surprised to find him living with a local family and having been dismissed and barred from the orphanage after spending a couple of months there. He spent much effort trying to get permission for me to visit the orphanage but it never did happen. Through him I met a group of young people who were trying to improve the overall situation in orphanages--making them less insular and more accountable. They informed me of some of the abuses that take place, and how difficult it is for the children to integrate into the larger community when they mature and leave the facility.

The group had been very successful in getting the support of the local medical school and police force and in liaising with other charitable groups. I had brought a donation from my church and we decided to use this money to give a memorable Christmas to a local orphanage. Indians are very good at celebrating and this was no exception. It was a gala event including a feast and dance show.

The owner of the orphanage was keen to get my continuing financial support in her desire to build a facility rather than keep using the rented facilities that they were presently using to house the children, old age orphans and physically and mentally disabled people that they had taken in from the streets of Coimbatore. The children were presently being housed in a separate house quite a distance from the main facility. I was told that they had 60 children--45 boys and 15 girls and that that they all lived in the 2 room house that I was shown. I was shown the land and the beginnings of a new building that had been halted due to a lack of funds.

I was very keen to help them out and was planning how I could help to raise the needed money in Canada. The Youth organization informed me that the orphanage owner was not being honest with me and had inflated the numbers, using children who lived in nearby homes to make it look like they had 60 children. When we bought and distributed the 60 gifts I noticed that many were left over.

While in India I became aware of just how much corruption there is in the politics and civil service there. I guess it is just normal in India but was shocking to me. A local politician remarked that if he were honest he would never get elected.

So I am now planning to focus my altruism on helping to educate women in Nepal and hope that I find a bit more integrity in the NGO’s there!

I also became disillusioned with ashrams this trip. The two that I had supported and promoted for many years did not even know who I was and were not at all welcoming.

I discovered a new one close to Coimbatore that is now very popular in India and we spent 3 days there right after New Years. It was a very nice facility and I wanted to stay longer but was told I needed to do a week long course before I was eligible to stay.

I chose to do the course in Goa as it was the next one coming up. I was booked into a hotel and was in class by 6 AM every morning. I found the contents of the course to be very elementary and contained material that I had been teaching for years. I forced myself to complete the course but never did go back to the ashram.

Instead I went to spend some time in Hampi and then went to Shantivanam, a Christian ashram in Southern India. Here I found a very warm welcome and spent 3 weeks there which changed my life. They combined the best of Chrisitianity with the best of Hinduism and were extremely loving and honest. I was able to shed my prejudices about Christianity and to become open to the teachings in a whole new way.

Since returning home I have been discovering the treasures of mystical Christianity and integrate them along with what I have learned in India over the past 35 years. I continue to love my Unitarian congregation and my place in that community but have a richer, fuller understanding of my place on this earth.

Shantivanam--Forest of Peace

Shantivanam—Forest of Peace

 

This was my seventh trip to India.  With each previous trip I had been in search of Eastern spiritual teachings—both Hindu and Buddhist.  I was very attached to these, especially Hinduism and looked disdainfully at the religion I had been born and raised in—Christianity   But as I evolved spiritually I became aware that there were some unhealed wounds there that needed to be addressed.

 One day last spring I came home from the library with two spiritual books. I was surprised to discover that both of them had references to Father Bede Griffiths—an English Benedictine monk who had lived much of his life in Southern India combining the best of Hinduism with the best of Christianity in a Christian ashram called Shantivanam near Trichy.  My friend Brenda had visited there in 1989, had met Father Bede and been very impressed with his wisdom and humility.  I decided to buy a book detailing his life, “Beyond the Darkness” by Shirley du Boulay.  I found that I could relate to much of his search and later bought his autobiographical book “The Golden String” which I found very inspiring.

 My plan to spend the winter of 2008/9 in India came about by a serendipitous series of events that later revealed a very different purpose for this trip.   I had planned to go to Oneness University in Andrah Pradesh where I had previously done two courses and  had been promoting them for the past 4 years.  I wanted to see the newly completed temple and to do the Advanced course again.  Circumstances prevented any of this from occurring and instead I found myself at the Isha Yoga ashram near Coimbatore.  It is a beautiful ashram with a very large following and I hoped that perhaps I had finally found my spiritual home in India.  But after doing one of their courses I found it to be very elementary for me and I was disappointed that I was not learning anything new.  I had gone to Goa to do the training and decided to spend 3 weeks at Benaulim Beach resting up and deciding on my next course of action.  During this time I did a lot of writing and contemplation and re-read “The Golden String”.

 I still felt a strong attachment to the Hindu-based organizations that I had devoted much of my life to—Siddha Yoga and Oneness University and wanted to visit both of them.

My enquiries at both places led to dead ends and I began to see the darker side of India, the lack of love and charity—the heartlessness of the Eastern traditions which focused more on love of God and on karma than on love of neighbour.

 I decided to go to Shantivanam, arriving there on February 4, 2009 very soul-weary and disenchanted, and considering cutting my trip short and returning to Canada early.

After a two day journey I arrived on the train at the small village of Kulittalai at 3:30 AM feeling very apprehensive as I stepped off the train into the darkness with all my luggage.

I was amazed to find someone waiting at the train station with a sign bearing my name and a vehicle to take me to the ashram.  At the ashram gate the guestmaster had risen in the middle of the night to greet and welcome me and help me settle into my room.

 Later that day I met Brother John Martin, with whom I had been corresponding, and who is the spiritual teacher at the ashram.  I was immediately impressed with his loving and joyful demeanor, his accessibility and humility.  Later I was to be even more impressed with his wisdom and with the care in which he welcomed every visitor to the ashram, as well as the love showered on me by Sister Marie-Louise who led the adjacent Ananda ashram for nuns, where I stayed for much of my visit.

I found Shantivanam very relaxed, with attendance at events optional, but decided to immerse myself in the life of the ashram and take advantage of every opportunity to learn and experience what was being taught there.   The day started with mass at 6:30 AM.  This was a new experience for me and a bit strange at first, but I grew to love it and to look forward to it each morning. .  During the celebration of the Eucharist  I would go into a very deep meditative state and would sometimes have profound mystical visions.

  I had grown up with a lot of prejudices about Roman Catholicism, some of which had been offset by being married in  a Catholic church in Australia and by working as a nurse in Catholic hospitals in Vancouver, but I always knew that it was a mystical branch of Christianity.

    Each morning and afternoon tea or coffee was served in a gazebo in the centre of the ashram.  This was our opportunity to meet new arrivals and to socialize with our fellow ashramites.  I was amazed at the people I met there –some who were staying as long as I and others who were just passing through, but every one drawn from all over the world by the same invisible force that drew me there.  For the first time in my life I felt fully accepted and safe to be authentic.

Every afternoon at 4 PM (except Sundays),Brother Martin met with us and patiently answered any questions that were put forth.   He was carrying on a tradition started by Father Bede.  Brother Martin had joined Father Bede in 1984, when just before he was due for ordination as a priest, he came to Shantivanam for some spiritual direction and is still there.  Fr. Bede allowed him to find his own unique way of teaching—I found it veryrefreshing and insightful.  Along with others I found myself almost jumping up and down with excitement the first few times I heard him speak.  I was also very impressed by the level of spiritual maturity shown by those who asked the questions.

  There is a rhythm in an ashram that allows one to focus  inward as there are very few external choices that need to be made on a daily basis.   At Shantivanam our education was mostly self-guided with a wonderful library and book store full of books written by the founders, as well as books from every spritual tradition.  I continued to do lots of writing,which is my way of gaining clarity.  I was discovering a whole new approach to Christianity—one that dovetailed with my previous mystical experiences and understandings gained in Eastern traditions. I loved the combination of Psalms with Sanskirt and Tamil chanting.    I realised that I had gone as far as I could go with the Eastern forms alone and that it was time for me to reclaim my Christian heritage.

 My prejudices fell away as I discovered that Christianity is starting to change from within as it allows itself to embrace the mysticism that has always been present in the lives of Christian saints and is the essence of all religions.  Here at Shantivanam the myths and metaphors were addressed and the scriptures came alive for me in a whole new way.  I began to see how the Eastern and Western traditions had much to learn from each other and that combined they were more than the sum of the parts.

 The missing element in the Western traditions is Wisdom, and lacking in Eastern traditions is the Love of neighbour which has allowed such degradation of humans to continue into the modern world.  The symbol of the cross took on a new meaning, as for me it symbolized the need to come back down to the heart level after experiencing the bliss of the higher chakras.  It is important after realizing the essential truth of Oneness to be willing to return to living in a dualistic world with functional boundaries and to offer our lives in service to our fellow humans.

 I came to understand the meaning of the Trinity when it was explained as:

Father --static aspect of divinity (transcendent),

Son --the dynamic (immanent) aspect

Holy Spirit –the relationship between the two

 I could draw parallels from Hinduism  with the journey from Shakti to Shiva and the energy of the kundalini. 

 

Bother Martin was very knowledgable about Advaita and made insightful comparisons with the Judeo-Christian traditions.

One day after Brother Martin’s talk I was writing, and upon completing it, realized that I had just written a poem describing my spiritual journey.  I had been thinking about how impatient I had become for enlightenment, and it reminded me of my children on long car trips when they used to repeatedly ask, “Are we there yet?”  Here is my poem:

 

         Am I There Yet?

 The journey to the Promised Land has been long and arduous and I am feeling weary.

I keep asking, “Am I there yet?  How much longer?”

The journey started in the Garden of Eden—original innocence. oneness, wholeness, unity—but unconscious.

Then came the Fall and being expelled from the garden paradise.

But I remember it and I long to return.

It is close and I get glimpses of it—but often it is a mirage.

Not there yet.

 The journey through the desert has been uncomfortable

But manna (nourishment) has always been there for my needs.

In the barren landscape I remember the lush greenery and pristine beauty of the Garden.

Maybe next year---next course—next trip to India!

I keep plodding onward

Focused too much on the destination and not enough on the Journey,

The Eternal Now—outside of time and space.

 Letting go of the past and trusting the future

I dwell in the Present and\

There I find Presence

There I find Freedom

There I find Creativity

There I find Joy

There I find Love

I am There

I am Here Now

I Am.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Last week in Sri Lanka

I left Shantivanam as it was getting too hot to sleep at night, spent 3 days in an air conditioned hotel in Trichy and then joined a friend that I had met at the ashram to fly to Colombo. There we were met by our host from Kandy and we drove for a couple of hours up hill to the delightful city of Kandy. I am staying with a wonderful family here and it is very comfortable. I awoke the first morning to find the trees outside my room full of monkeys and watched them tightrope walking on the wires. Apparently they know which ones are safe to walk on.

I am a bit tired of sightseeing so am just content to join the family in their every day activities. Their 15 year old daughter is a chess champion who has travelled all over the world to compete in tournaments.

Sri Lanka is very different from India even though it is just a 40 minute air trip away. This is predominantly Sinhalese Budddhists and the country is much cleaner and more progressive.
Unfortunately the civil war here with the Tamil Tigers is still in its last days and there are soldiers with machine guns, check points and barricades everywhere, but I am finding it very peacerful where I am.
There is a large temple here that has a tooth from the Buddha and is one of the holiest shrines in Sri Lanka. The Tamil Tigers bombed it in 1998 so security is very tight now. They will be showing the tooth on the 6th and already are preparing for huge line ups. There are buddhist monks and buddha statues and shrines everywhere.

Sri Lanka is definitely worth a visit and I expect that I may return here some day. I also hope to return to Shantivanam. But now I am looking forward to returning to my comfortable home in Canada and integrating all that I have learned and experienced here. It has been an amazing journey!

Shantivanam

I arrived at Shantivanam. near Trichy in Southern India on Feb. 4 at 3:30 AM on the train. It was a bit frightening to be getting off a train in a small village at this hour of the morning, but I was delighted to be met by someone holding a placard with my name and to be taken to the ashram where the guestmaster, a woman from California had got up to meet me and help me settle in. What a change from the Hindu ashrams I have visited!. Here there is so much love and respect and individual attention. It is a small ashram with a limit of 50 guests and there are people coming and going every day from all parts of the world, but it doesn't seem to detract from the peace and serenity of the place. I am amazed at the people I am meeting here--the spiritual maturity is about as high as I have seen anywhere. I am making so many friends that I know I will keep in touch with.
It is difficult to describe this place. It is absolutely unique on the planet, and was just what I was looking for. It is opening up a whole new world to me--the world of Wisdom Christianity which seems to be a movement to change Christianity from within to a higher level of awareness of the mystical life of Christ. It all makes so much sense to me and it absolutely identical with my mystical experience in Eastern traditions, only much more loving. I find Brother Martin's daily question and answer sessions so exciting as he is Indian, but has spent his life as a Christian and seems to understand both on a very deep level. I am currently living in the nun's ashram across the road which is much quieter and more peaceful as there is not so much activity there.
The ashram is located beside the Kaveri river--a river that is just as sacred as the Ganges and when I left to come into town today there was a cremation going on.
My little hut looks right out at the river and I am surrounded by coconut palms, frangipani, banana trees and many exotic birds including a couple of peacocks, lots of butterflies. At night there are fireflies and the stars are so bright I can almost touch them.
I am doing lots of reading, writing and discussion with other ashramites and even wrote a poem the other day.
I look forward to sharing more with you when I return.
My journey is coming to an end with just 2 weeks to go before I must go to Chennai to catch my flight home.
My autorickshaw is waiting so must go now.
Love to you all,
Mary Lou

hello from Hampi Bazaar

I first heard about Hampi from Richard Padmos, owner of Cathedral Lakes Lodge, and he raved about it. I finally made it here and can see why! It is an amazing place.
After a 7 hour train ride from Goa shared with many European tourists we all got into autorickshaws and raced to Hampi. My driver went the fastest and I got here first.

My first impression was one of awe, and I sensed similar energy that I feel in Sedona, Arizona, which also has amazing rock formations. Hampi was the site of an idyllic Hindu kingdom until it was destroyed by Moslem invaders in 1565. There are still enough ruins to imagine what it must have been like. The site is naturally picturesque with stone heaps everywhere for miles around, and the buildings were built and carved in stone as well.

It is very difficult to describe and almost impossible to capture with a camera , so all I can say is come and see it for yourself if you possibly can.

I leave Monday for Bangalore and hope to spend a night there and leave on Feb. 4 for Trichy where I will go to Shantivanam Ashram where Father Bede Griffith lived until his death in 1993. I have been very inspired by his book, The Golden Thread and his journey from Philosophy to religion and how he combined the best of Christianity with the best of Hinduism.

Cara is back in Kelowna, Joseph is in Ooty and Manoj is still in Coimbatore but plans to join Joseph and travel together towards Delhi where they will leave for Canada on March 1 so they will be home before me. My Australian friends, Kate and Trent are headed to Bangalore so may see them there before they return home. I miss all my 22 year old friends and it seems strange to be on my own.

Bye til next time!

more from Goa

I am very happy here and have decided to stay for a month or so. Kate and Trent arrived yesterday and have moved into the same lodge that I am in. This is the third time we have stayed in the same place. (Bangalore and Ooty as well). Strange how our paths keep crossing!

They live in a suburb near Tathra in Melbourne. Last night we checked out the nightlife on the beach. It is quite idyllic to sit on the beach at night and watch a movie or listen to a band. There is a Film Festival on the beach here every year. So I am staying put here and anyone who wants can come and visit!

Introspection

I am in Goa alone after spending most of my time in India with other people. At first I felt quite lonely, but then started to see it as a chance for a retreat and some introspection. I bought a notebook and started writing. I was finding that once I started listening to a guru I started to lose my inner direction. I am now getting clear on where I am in my life and what is the next step for me. It is time for me to start finding my own unique wisdom and not keep drawing on the wisdom of others. This is starting to happen in my daily writing sessions.
I am seeing myself as being in a hermitage and loving it. It is a very beautiful hermitage--a penthouse surrounded by coconut palms, mango and papaya trees, with a beautiful beach nearby. I even have a television but am learning to use it appropriately and not as a tool to distract myself from loneliness.
This being said, I have some Australian friends arriving tomorrow--so will have some company after all!